T13, no. 4

Thirteen Things pulled from Rus' DAYBOOKS!
Ok, folks. These are little original gems that I have pulled from my daybooks (journals) over the past few years...Which is your favorite?1. 25 February 2004, 11:30 p.m.: Thich Nhat Hanh writes in Being Peace, On the wooden board outside of the mediation hall in Zen monastaries, there is a 4-line inscription. The last line is: 'Don't waste your life..' Our lives are made of days and hours, and each hour is precious. Have we wasted our hours and our days? Are we wasting our lives? These are important questions. Practicing Buddhism is to be alive in each moment." And so I repeat: Don't waste your life. Don't waste this day. Don't waste this hour. All that I do contributes to the wellness or the destruction of my being, and this directly affects my ability to bring peace to others. So: Don't Waste Your Life.2. 15 July 2004, 8:30 a.m.: In the years 1989 to 2004, beginning with the death of my father and ending with the birth of our last child, I learned that I am not immortal, I am not guaranteed love, and evil is a prosperous business in this world that continues to thrive with unrelenting passion. I also learned, however, that mortality is a good thing, love can only be appreciated when it is given, and this same love truly does conquer evil.

3. 8 August 2004, afternoon: I am outside with the girls as they play in the sprinkler, the pool, the Little Tykes playset. I have always been amazed at the fact that unless I turn my face directly to the sun, I will tan more on one side than the other. How many millions of miles has this light traveled to me? And yet, one inch to the left means all the difference in the world. When I have a discussion with another person, I am equally amazed how dramatic a cordial correspondence can turn with a roll of the eyes, a heavy sigh, or a shake of the head. When I am having a discussion with another person, let me be nothing less than the direct sunlight: even, with nothing in the shade, and my commitment to the person unconditionally felt.

4. 13 November 2004, 11:39 a.m.: It was 3:56 a.m. when I opened my eyes. And although Madelyn weighs just over 30 pounds in her petite frame, her smile loomed large, gentle. "Daddy, I'm hungry." I rubbed my eyes, and refocused. There she stood, still smiling. "Ok, Maddie. Let's see what we can find." "Thank you," she replied, her smile only growing. I tucked her back in bed after a small snack, and the light from across the street spilled a sparkle into her eye as she smiled. "Good night, Daddy," she whispered. As I left to return to bed at 4:12 a.m., I kept that smile with me. Now, at 11:43 a.m., I still have it. 🙂

5. 27 November 2004, 9:01 a.m.: Here's today's point: The way society is structured, we do everything we can to discourage balance. By requiring people to live a certain way, with so many demands placed on us to make money to live a certain, minimal way, we are locked into this level of living that prevents most people from ever getting the opportunity to experience balance as it was meant to be experienced. It goes against our very nature to "schedule" extreme regimes of relaxation to counterbalance the extreme digressions from balance. The answer is to stay close to the center. Always. Thus, my goal to live a life free of these societal constraints that force these extremes. . .

6. 8 December 2004, 5:47 a.m.: What will I make of today? Only I am responsible for how I handle all that comes before me on this day. Just remember that you are so truly blessed with magnificent gifts from god, and he has empowered you to do his work along the great and magnificent journey. Embrace all that comes before you today with strength and a smile. Love all, and allow yourself to be loved as well.

7. 12 July 2005, 10:25 a.m.: Val shared this with me, and I love it. "It doesn't interest me what you do. . . .I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive." That's from the Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

8. Ginny says that the artist in you is going to come out one way or another. You can allow it to flow freely out of you and into the air, where it can have its own life. It, that within you, needs to live freely. It is yours to nurture, to grow, to nurse, until it is ready to fly. And when it is ready, your channels must be open to let it go. But when you don't let it fly, it warms in the lack of light, swells, bloats, wallows in the sick environment. Becomes cancer, and decides to eat its way out of you to live on its own, which is what it needed to do in the first place. Either way, it's going to come out of you. It's your choice -- through life or through death?

9. 31 December 2005, 9:15 a.m. at Panera Bread: Here we are once again: The last day of the year. May 2005 go into my history book as the year of awakening -- health, spirit, love. We all have the opportunity to make tomorrow's brand new day mean more than just the first day of 2006. Everything works from the inner core to the heavens. Be the light between the stars. What if every drop of energy that emanated from us was positive? Let us begin the process of genuine and positive change. . . .

10. 26 February 2006, 4 a.m., listening to Jerry Garcia play Dear Prudence: At 3:33 a.m., I awoke to three strong knocks. Wide awake. As if the switch had been flipped from sleep to wake, there was no inbetween these two states. Eyes wide open -- waiting for some confirming noise outside to confirm that I should be scared as hell. I waited, just in that state, for several minutes, but only silence followed these three sharp knocks, and nothing else--not a strong wind, not a creaking of a door, not even sirens or footsteps or three more knocks--nothing but three whatevers of complete silence. And so now I am brewing coffee and writing. Perhaps these three knocks led me to you, great Daybook, to learn something that I did not know. Trust the process, right?

11. Same morning, 5:48 a.m.: I feel as if there needs to be a rebirth process, in the bigger schemata. Perhaps reincarnation is just that. In this lifetime, we have smaller "rebirths" to cleanse the system of all of the toxins that have accumulated, but eventually in death, there is a rebirth, a total rebooting of the soul. A fresh beginning that we cannot control. it is bigger than all of us. But here, now, we can control these micro-rebirths to be rid of the toxins, the poisons, so that we may live more fully. I feel better than I have in a very long time. A good place to be, flowing, living the acknowledgement of this rebirth taking place. I will not stand in its way. Clearly, this is an ongoing awakening. Why was I led to the journal at 3:33 a.m.? I need not question. The observation comes, it goes, and I smile broadly for that.

12. 26 April 2006, 8:40 a.m., to JT's You've Got A Friend: Discrimination. I've been discriminated against. I know how it feels. I know what it's like to be made fun of because of what I think, how I look, or who I am. But if we look at it this way: I never ever want to be seen as the one discriminating. I never want to make a single individual feel judged by the way he looks, she thinks. Any of it. So how do I do this?

13. 18 June 2006, 8:35 a.m.: Love transcends. Knows no boundaries. Is it conscious? Unconditional? Variable? Blind? Unstoppable? A choice? Sometimes This and sometimes That? Is it chemistry? Forced? Hated? Feared? Loathed? Impossible for some? Available to all? Do we ask for it? Consciously refuse it because of fear? What if we were to let go completely and free fall? What a life to go so uninhibitedly. This is what they are afraid of, isn't it? That one day we may just let go and say to hell with all of you and with it all -- to hell I say! To hell and back for all I care. No...Not a free fall but a free FLOW, Ain't the ride so very nice. . .Let the river, this think called life, carry us as we meander and weather this storm, this boulder, this life in front of us. Indeed! the water is wide, so let us go, let us flow you and I so that we may know this thing called love, this thing called Love. Separately, yet in the same stream we flow, independent, yet forever joined by the waters all around us. . .

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

1. Janet

2. Bev

3. Something's Missing

4. Zeus

5. Michelle


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

4 thoughts on “T13, no. 4

  1. As someone who has always been discriminated against because of “what I think (that happiness & fun is most important in life, not how much money one makes, unless that directly contributes to their happiness & fun), how I look (not pretty, heavy, tattoos), or who I am (a woman)” I wish you much luck in this endeavor.


  2. Hello – I have come to your blog via Janet and am in love with your writing. Are you a practicing Buddhist? I was for about 2 years a few years back but like many things in my life I went at it full throttle 125% and got burnt out. I was at one of the most contented periods in my life during that time (even though I was going through a few bumps in my life). I keep thinking, “I need to get back” even if it is to go to a “class” once a week and live the rest of the week in constant awareness of its practices.

    I enjoyed your list and your writing style.


Comments are closed.