On this first day of the vernal equinox, I find myself caught between the stunning and brilliant images of early spring (in some ways, this week has been as colorful as autumn’s peak late last October) and the heavy heart I carry for the loss of loved ones in springtime.
Just a few days ago, the ten-year anniversary of a good friend’s passing, Donnon (We bid you goodnight, good friend), kicked off the season for me, with upcoming anniversaries of the deaths of my own parents, as well as my wife’s and the “second sets” of parents whom I spent so much time, in April, May, and June. Eight deaths in a 3-month span.
That’s why this is so hard for me. Outside, there is faith in the flowers, the blossoming of a new season, and the promise of rebounding life and love once again. Inside my heart, though, I feel deeply in touch with those whom I have had to say goodbye in these same spring-like days.
So now, on this very very specific day of Spring’s arrival, it is also the birthday of a wonderful individual I never knew: Jennifer Cakert. Jennifer, like Donnon, died at a very young age. She passed away nearly six years ago (another passing in June), and yet, her spirit and energy still remain deeply within me, just like Donnon’s.
It is inexplicable. And yet, I do not question it. There is chi here that, for whatever reason, drives me to do many of the things I do.
On the one-year anniversary of Jennifer’s death, I wrote a memorial to her on my blog that, for reasons I cannot even begin to comprehend, is so very serendipitous of the events that are coming up in the next few months. After rereading this blog, she shares a birthday with another individual whom I have never met, yet who may play a key role in helping donate some of my photos for the upcoming Jan-Ai Scholarship Event in October.
I am absolutely convinced that the Universe provides opportunities for healing, for love, for guidance and for faith. These passings, these anniversaries, these birthdays, they have all fallen at a time of year of rebirth, of renewal, of life and hope and love springing eternal.
I have faith in a seed. I have faith in the blossoming buds on the dogwoods, the cherry blossoms, and the magnolias.
But most of all, I have faith in the love in my heart from the passing of loved ones, the kindness and energy of those I have never met, and the belief that something greater exists beyond these very thoughts and emotions.
I have faith. I believe. I love. You.